Can We Live a Better Story?

I first read about the concept of living a better story in Donald Miller’s book,  A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Despite our failings in life, we can always grab hold of a second chance and redeem the time we have left on this spinning ball of clay.  My take on living a better story has to do with a theme I continue to push in most of my writing, that being, “living a redemptive life.”

I closely tie this theme to the admonition of Socrates, who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Living the examined life is ultimately the same as living a redemptive life.  The examined life brings us to the threshold of truth and virtue (Plato called it the “Good”), and to embrace truth and virtuous living is to truly redeem the time we have left.  Thus begins the process of living a better story.

Everyone has a story to tell, and who knows, we may each have the life experiences to write a Pulitzer Prize winner.  The problem is that too many people do not even recognize the story living with them, the nuggets of wisdom and ideas that have emerged merely from living life, and learning from it.

This notion was driven home to me by a history Professor I had at Michigan State University during my time in graduate school.  It was a seminar on Colonial historiography, and we were required to read ten different books on various aspects of this period of history.  At the beginning of the first class, the professor had us break up into pairs, and interview each other.  The exercise was three-fold.   One, to get to know our fellow students.  Two, demonstrate to us that history is about an ongoing story, so-to-speak, and Three, enlighten us to the understanding that within each of us is a story worth telling.  In other words, we are living history.

It wasn’t until I encountered Donald Miller that I began to see the truth in this kind of thinking, and that if I am living a story, then I should make it the best story of my life.

Think about where you are at on this journey and ask yourself the question, “Am I really living the best story of my life?”  Perhaps you’re living a story with which you are disappointed, and unable to find where you fit in the patchwork of existence. Others may be living a story of bitter endings, and a world of unforgiveness .   There may be some of you who have had little about which to be bitter, disappointed, or discouraged.  If so, you are fortunate to have had these experiences in your life’s story. But the question is, what do we need to do in order to live a better story?

Everyone’s story is different, and that means we each have to examine our lives for the issues that consume us.  If bitterness is driving each chapter we write, then we need to stop and acknowledge this fact, and do some serious self-assessment as to why we continue to hold grudges against others.  This has been especially true in the story of my life, beginning somewhere in my childhood.  Somewhere along the way I stopped forgiving people for the hurts I believed they foisted upon me.  After a while, I began enjoying the feeling of being hurt perhaps because it gave me further justification for who I was, and it also gave me license to wallow in my own self-pity.  It’s like I was a doomed leper scratching my wounds in a sort of self-tormenting, masochistic way (to quote Helmut Thielicke’s book, Nihilism)

Thank God that I eventually examined my life out of this, and have been able to forgive, and ask forgiveness for all the garbage of the past.  I finally came to the conclusion that the yoke of bitterness is far too heavy a burden to carry, and that living a bitter life is in no way compatible with living a better story.  It might be interesting to read the story of a bitter person (ie. Dostoevsky’s Brothers Karamazov), but you would be hard pressed to find anyone who believes such a life story is redemptive.

So what’s your story?  As you assess where you are and where you’ve been in life, can you say it’s the best story you’ve lived?  What kind of stumbling blocks lay in the path of your existence?  Think about the gifts and abilities you possess, and then consider how they can be utilized in a way that not only makes your part of the garden a cultivated, but contributes to the ability of others to live a better story as well.

I recently experienced a heartbreaking loss of a relationship to a wonderful woman with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life.  It came out of nowhere, and devastated me to the core of my being.  I’m still hurting beyond measure, but I have had the chance to reflect and figure it into the ongoing commitment to live a better story, and life.  God has His own way of making our paths straight, and bringing us to the place where we should be.  “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9).

No matter how old we are,  what we’ve failed to do, or the time we’ve wasted, God will always find a way to make the crooked paths straight, and help us make a redemptive novel out of our broken lives.

I once met a man so vile and crude he would make a drunken sailor blush.  He was about as rotten to the core as a person could be. I lost track of him over the years (no loss for me, however), yet one day ran into him at a local bluegrass concert in Michigan.  I hardly recognized him because his eyes were filled with light, rather than the darkness I remembered.  He told me the story of how he was brought to the realization one night as to how low he had sunk in his humanity (I paraphrase here).  Apparently he was introduced to the idea that he was not too far gone, and that God could still make a masterpiece out of a broken life.  He found Christ, and his life was transformed into something all of his old friends did not recognize.  They were all thinking of the old Larry, and couldn’t believe the new Larry they saw.  He told me, “It’s as if God made a new me!”  He was truly a transformed man indeed.  It reminds of the promise God made to Israel through the Prothet Joel.  “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten.”  (Joel 2:25).

We get many chances in this life to change our stories, and to live more redemptive lives. Take some time today to self-examine the core of your life.  What you believe, what you value most, and what you desire to accomplish.  Does it add up to a better story for you?  Is it a story you would be happy to share?  I’ll stop now so you can being writing.

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All rights reserved


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Journal For You

If you’re looking for a great site about journaling, with a lot of articles and suggestions to get you started, then check out this neat site!

www.journalforyou.com/

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My Journal Collection

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Okay, I will admit it. I have a Journaling addition. Actually more like a Journal addition! I love all the beautiful journals that are available now!!!

Gone are the days of just using some nasty little spiral notebook with a kitty on the front! Why now, the choices are endless. And because of the nature of myself, and being in love with textures and colors and beautiful graphics and handmade latches and all that… I must have 20 at least now!

Let’s see…. I have a dream journal. And a gratitude journal. One about my life. Yes, one about my band as well. (I keep track of every gig and write some thoughts about each one as well as keeping some of my songwriting bits in there…) Oh, and I have a separate songwriter journal. I have a garden journal. I have a soap and candle making journal, though I really don’t do much of that craft anymore. But if I do want to, I’ve got all my secrets safe and ready to start again!

I’ve got a spending journal, that I just started. It’s more a record, an accounting. I got this idea that if I wrote down EVERYTHING I spend money on, I would start to watch it a little closer and all. So far, so good. It does seem to help…. some.

I’ve got a rock and mineral journal where I keep information about suppliers for our business, as well as ideas and things that I’d like to try and implement in the business. It’s my little black book of rock dealing. I have a book for all my screen printing and graphic art clients as well. I write in information about their jobs, what color shirts they ordered and when, and information that I need to know about their particular tastes and jobs and ideas. It’s been very informational. I have one journal that I keep all about my publishing business. Again, ideas, things that have happened, totals and yearly goals.

I have one journal that I keep all my website information in. I run about 60 websites so I keep all the loging and FTP information in it as well as ideas about sites, and passwords and any account information that I’m likely to need, especially with a new computer or if I travel and need to access the accounts to fix or edit something. It has saved me tons of time and effort on many occasions.

And yes, I have one journal that is my personal thoughts and reflections journal. It’s hardly a day to day thing, but well, it’s special to me and important. It’s gotten me through some tough times. And celebrated some wonderful ones as well.

I guess too, that my daily journal has to be my personal blog! Almost up to 500 entry posts now, I can clearly say that it is perhaps my most favorite Journal in the collection. It’s not as pretty and touchable as the others, but it’s very important.

In my younger years, I wrote a lot, but I mostly just used a daily notebook that had my to do lists in it as well as daily life messages and scribles that needed a home. I have at least a dozen of them. While they are not really “journals” they do measure my days and often have important bits and pieces of my life. Like wedding plans and moving out to California plans and new baby plans and then the bittersweet of plans for a new life after divorce. All these journals and records and even the blog go into making my mark on life… my lifeprint on history. It’s important, at least to me and my memories.

So can you have too many journals?

Heck no!!! Not at all.

In fact, I’m looking right now for the best in recipe and cooking journals! I want to find one that is just right to start my own family journal of cooking and recipes so that some day I can hand it down to my daughters and their daughters!

You can never have too many journals.

You can learn more about my crazy life at:

www.themobilehomewoman.com

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Keeping an Art Journal

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New Website Design Coming

We’re so excited to announce that the main site, Journaling Life.com is overgoing a new facelift and make-over!  It’s been a while, no doubt, but we’re excited and I think you will be too!  

We’re devoting ourselves to keeping the Daily Journal up and running with wonderful posts, information, news and reflective journeys into writing styles that will help to encourage and enthuse you with the whole journaling process.  

Please be sure to stop in and visit often!  

David and Sherri

The Journaling Life Staff….

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Moments with Vonnie: A Journal Entry

 

I went to visit my children yesterday, as is a custom of mine, in addition to getting visitation rights on the weekend.  Activities include taking Vonnie to theater, and sometimes running errands with the other kids, as well as having a greasy order of chili cheese fries with any or all of them at the local coney island in wonderful Clarkston, Michigan.   After a time of working with Vonnie on her school work, and later watching an episode or two of the Gilmore Girls (yes, I said the Gilmore Girls), I commenced to get my things together to leave for home.  Vonnie called me from her room, hence I went in to kiss and hug her goodnight and goodbye.  I noticed she was acting kind of melancholy, and so I asked her what was bothering her.  She shed a few tears, and told me how much she missed me, and hated not having me around as much.  

She understands, all too well, the nature of divorce, and also how much I did not want a divorce from her mom, but she also understands it happened and that you only have a choice to sink or swim with regard to dealing with it.  I reassured her that I loved her sooooooooooo much and that I would ALWAYS be there for her at anytime of the day or night.  What she mentioned next kind of threw me for a loop, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since.  She lamented the fact that since her mom and I split up when she was so young, she had very few memories of when I was actually living there.  This made my heart sink to the lowest depth I’ve felt in some time.  She said that she does remember how much we laughed when I was still living there, and this I can attest to since I have always had a philosophy of laughter.  It makes one’s heart cheerful, and can chase disease from body and soul.  I sat there with Vonnie and hugged her, reassuring her that despite the way things have turned out, we can choose to love each other (as a family), and reengage the laughter philosophy.  I told Vonnie that if I could take all the sadness and pain away that was caused by divorce, I would do it in a heart beat.  Since I cannot, all I can do is love her, support her, and help create sweet memories for her, and her siblings, from here on out.  I love those tender moments with my children where I am witness to the redemptive sides of their wonderful natures.  Therein lies the rub, it’s all about taking bad situations in our lives, and making them redemptive.

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Journaling About the Holidays Again

 

I love the time from late fall through Christmas for many reasons, and as the Holiday Season approaches each year, I find myself attempting to recreate certain events from years past that hold a great deal of meaning for me. It’s a spiritual presence that emerges from another dimension where time is irrelevant, and along with it come fond, meaningful memories of Christmas past. November 1st seems to be the time, every year, when I begin to sense the presence of the Christmas spirit, but for me I truly believe it’s something much greater than fond memories. It’s so easy to merely have an emotional experience filled with memories, but I’ve always believed that memories should have an authoritative position in our lives from which we can ponder in order to draw up wisdom for better living. The best analogy I can use would be that of a deep well, which is symbolic of a permanently fixed memory, and the waters at the bottom those sweet morsels of wisdom. I would like to know, however, what makes the Holiday Season such a unique time for all this contemplative wonder.

Christmas time, this year, was a strange experience insofar as it was the first year I’ve ever been out of town for the season.  I had Christmas a couple of days early with my children in Clarkston, MI, and then went south to Atlanta.  I say it was strange because I’ve never been away for the holidays, and the weather in Atlanta was in the low 70s on both Christmas eve and Christmas day.  The first thing that went through my mind, as I felt the warm Georgia breeze against my skin, was that this doesn’t seem like Christmas with all this warm weather.  Where is the snow and over all winter solstice festive atmosphere that helps make Christmas what it is?  It just didn’t feel like Christmas to me, yet it was, nonetheless, another experience upon which to reflect.

 It seems as if the experiences have changed radically over the years.  When I was a youngster, I remember how much fun it was piling into the car on Christmas day and driving over my Aunt Eleanor’s house in Grosse Point, MI.  Anyone who knows the Detroit area will know that Grosse Point is where the upper crust lives.  There are middle class sections, upper middle class sections, wealthy sections, and very wealthy sections.  Aunt Eleanor lives in the wealthy section of Grosse Point, and we always felt like we were granted permission, once a year, to experience the epicurean privileges of the royalty that lived on the other side of the tracks.   I can close my eyes and see in my mind the powdery snow falling as the afternoon sun sank lower into the horizon.  I can hear the starchy crunch of the snow under the tires of my father’s 1967 Chevy Impala, and feel the occasional gust of wind against the car.  Perhaps it’s just a bigger than life child’s imagination, and exaggerated memory of how it really was, but those memories, as they represent themselves today, are all that I have.

It’s no surprise that our experiences and impressions of these events change since our perspectives continue to evolve with time.  Obviously, what I valued as a child is 180 degrees off from what I value as an adult, and the things I valued as a 25 year old adult are a far cry off from what I value today.  The best example I can give is in the area of receiving gifts at Christmas time.  Honestly, I’ll take a good glass of wine, a fine meal,  and great conversation over and beyond a gift.  Don’t get me wrong, I am always grateful for any gift, it’s just that there are more valuable things I long to experience, and those things cannot be wrapped and decorated with a pretty ribbon and bow.  

Sometimes I really find myself lamenting the fact that I cannot experience the holidays the same way I did as a kid, yet I get great joy out of watching my four children in the midst of their own holiday experiences and memories.  I was discussing this with my youngest daughter Vonnie who asked me to tell her about the times we would pile her older brother and sister into the car, around Christmas, and drive around the Detroit area looking at Christmas lights.  Sandra and Kurt used to fight about who saw the most amount of lights, but they soon forgot about as we pulled into the parking lot of the local coney island restaurant. Ironically, some of the best lights in the area were in Grosse Pointe, and Grosse Pointe Woods.  Yes in deed, the upper crust sure knew how to dress up their homes.

I will always love the Christmas season, and I expect to go to my grave loving it, yet as the times become more increasingly impersonal as a result of technology, it’s more important than ever to keep myself from becoming a Scrooge.  I must admit that I have Scrooge-like tendencies, especially as I watch technology erode some of the more personal, and traditional aspects of the holiday.  I love to hear the ancient and traditional carols played on authentic instruments, but this year I heard a CD playing techno-carols.  It was bad enough to hear some of the synthesizer drive music of Mannheim Steamroller (though some of it is very pleasant and traditional sounding).  These are only my personal reflections on my own sense of tradition and pleasant memories of my experience.  We all have our likes and dislikes, hang-ups, and idiosyncrasies about life in general, but through it all we develop our own memories, and these memories feed the soul and remind us of more simple, warm times in our lives.  All of this is the very substance of what helps give us hope for tomorrow, and wisdom by which to live.

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